


Pinky Promises

by sweetlymyoi



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Best Friends, But maybe also some angst, Childhood Friends, Codependency, F/F, Friendship, Happy Ending, Long-Distance Friendship, Returning Home, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:28:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28380033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetlymyoi/pseuds/sweetlymyoi
Summary: From the moment Mina met Sana, she became the center of her entire universe. In her naivety she always assumed that it would be that way forever. When the two best friends are forced apart, Mina is left to learn to navigate life's challenges on her own for the first time and comes to realize just why she's always placed Minatozaki Sana above the rest.
Relationships: Hirai Momo/Minatozaki Sana, Hirai Momo/Myoui Mina, Minatozaki Sana/Myoui Mina
Comments: 18
Kudos: 68





	1. Chapter 1

Sana has always been a social butterfly, never able to fully settle into her life without the attention of others. She always attributed it to being an only child, but even at a young age she'd been drawn to others, long before the effects of loneliness could set in. She was never fearful of people, almost to a fault, and even beyond her adorable demeanor - she was incredibly charming.

In first grade she'd met Mina, a tiny girl sitting alone in the back of the classroom with her bangs covering her eyes and a pout on her lips, completely opposite of Sana's bright smile. She'd been assigned the seat right next to her and in overly excited Sana fashion; she'd immediately attempted to strike up a conversation as she pulled the colorful pencil case from her bag and sat it delicately on the desk.

Mina had just turned 6 years old, barely making the cutoff for starting school. She had thrown a fit that morning, as her mother had tugged the blouse over her head, followed by the itchy sweater that already felt too warm in the spring weather. Her feet barely touched the floor as she let her legs kick slightly under the desk, trying to fend off her nervousness and the temptation to scratch at her arms. She didn't understand why she had to go to school and she most definitely didn't understand why the girl sitting beside her wanted to talk to her.

If Sana was anything, even at 6 years old, she was determined. Especially to make her new classmate like her enough to call her a friend. Sana had always been excited for school, to be able to find the best friend she'd heard so many stories about having. She'd decided, the moment she set her eyes on Mina, that she would be that person. Mina never really had a choice in the matter and honestly, looking back on it, Sana wasn’t sure there was ever another option for her either. It was always Mina, from the very start.

As time passed, Sana became Mina's entire world. Perhaps even her entire universe. She would always seek out Sana's attention and her approval. Sana never pushed her away or asked for space, even as her friend circle grew, she always made a point to include the quieter girl. Mina didn't care for friends outside of Sana, feeling completely content to follow in the other's shadow. They became a packaged deal and everyone who was anyone knew that if you wanted the attention of Minatozaki Sana, you'd have to earn it from Myoui Mina.

For anyone else Mina's clinginess might have been overwhelming, but not for Sana. She doted on the smaller girl as though she was a younger sibling, even though they were only a few months apart in age. Sana always took her hand on the way to school, carrying both their bags if Mina ever complained (which she did, quite often). They sat together at lunch, Mina sneaking Sana extra rice and Sana pushing her mostly uneaten vegetables onto Mina's tray. Their teachers notice, but never intervene in the harmless exchanges.

Their routine hardly changed as they grew older. Other kids would join them at lunch or walk alongside Sana outside of school, but at the end of the day Sana would drop Mina off at her door with a tight hug and a promise to see her the next morning. When her mother would ask how her day went, she spoke more of Sana than she did of her schooling. When she was pressed to expand her circle, she protested to the point that there was no argument to be had. There wasn't any separating the two.

Sometimes the other kids would make comments under their breath when Sana's hand reached for hers as they'd begin their trek home and though she knew they weren't being kind, she couldn't imagine why they would care so much. She attributed it to jealousy, and sometimes that made her chest swell with pride, because way back then she was the one Sana chose. She was special.

"What does it mean?" She'd asked once, as Sana had pulled her away from a group of snickering boys. Sana had her hand gripped tighter than she ever had before, nearly dragging Mina behind her down the sidewalk. "What they said…"

"Don't worry about it, Mitan." Sana had replied with a sigh, slowing to allow Mina to catch up to her. "They're just jerks."

"I'm not worried about it." Mina grumbled in response. "I just want to know."

"It means that sometimes girls like other girls the way they're supposed to like boys." Sana's voice is quieter than normal, as though she's sharing a secret. Mina knew the tone of her voice well, as they'd shared all their own secrets time and time again. This one, however, felt much more dangerous than any of the others.

"Oh." She exhales and their pace slows. It's a chilly day, but Mina always feels warm next to Sana. Silence falls between them as Mina ponders the idea. She didn't like boys very much to begin with, but she always assumed she was just too young to think about that. They hadn't even started middle school yet. "I don't think that's so bad."

Sana stops walking and turns to Mina, her eyes widening slightly. Mina feels the warmth on her cheeks; that maybe that was the wrong thing to say. Sana always knew more about things than she did. Sometimes she didn't like that very much. Mina always felt socially behind, as though there was always a joke she just didn’t quite catch onto hanging over her head.

"You don't?" Sana questions and Mina just shrugs her shoulders.

"I like you more than I'd ever like some stupid boy." She replies with a roll of her eyes and Sana stares at her for a beat, before a smile creeps onto her lips, slowly spreading from ear to ear.

"Sometimes you still surprise me, how is that?" She questions with a chuckle as she nudges the younger girl with her shoulder and just like that, everything was back to normal. The heaviness in the cool winter air lifts and they fall into step together as they always had.

Sana drops Mina off at her front door as she always does, wrapping her in a tight hug before she pulls away and hands Mina her bag.

"I'll see you tomorrow." She smiles and Mina returns it, the bag hanging loosely from her hand as she watches Sana skip off, spinning around once more to give her a small wave before she disappears down the street.

When Mina sits down at dinner with her parents and her older brother that night, she anticipates the same discussion as normal. She perks up when she sits down to her favorite meal, one she normally only got for special occasions. She ponders what it could mean as her parents join her in their seats at the table.

"Mina, we have some exciting news." Mina furrows her brow as her parents look between one another. She puts her utensils down, looking at her mother and then her father, who won't meet her eyes.

"What?" She questions and her mother slides a piece of paper toward her.

"Your father and I applied for you to attend a wonderful school this year. Since you're starting middle school we think it'd be good for you to focus on your studies." Mina feels the tears prick at her eyes, burning at the corners. "We heard back today and you were accepted!" The fake excitement from her mother makes her feel angry, but she swallows it down.

"No." She simply states, pushing her bowl away.

"This isn't up for discussion, Mina." Her mother replies. "This is a great opportunity and you'll really enjoy it once you settle."

"I don't want to go there." Her parents watch her, which only increases the prickling feeling in her eyes. She swallows hard, her lower lip trembling. When she glances at her brother, he's pushing his food around in his bowl, also avoiding her. Her frustration only grows.

"I know, but sometimes you don't have a choice." Her father states, finally speaking up for the first time. "Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do because they're the best thing for your future."

"May I be excused?" She asks meekly.

"You haven't eaten." Her mother responds, but her tone isn't angry.

"I'm not hungry." Her eyes focus on the edge of the plate, waiting for permission. "May I be excused?" She asks again and her father sighs.

"Go ahead." He says and Mina pushes away from the table. She can hear her parents' hushed whispers as she walks toward the stairs to her bedroom. She stops at the landing, glancing back toward the dining room. Stepping to the front door, she cracks it open silently.

Mina has never stepped a foot out of line before and she doesn’t really understand why she feels compelled to now. She’s never done well with her emotions but normally she can get through the overwhelming panic she feels at times. As a younger kid she’d always cry when she felt overwhelmed and though she does do that still, she does it in private. Tonight though, all Mina wants to do is run.

She takes a deep breath of the chilly evening air before she slips out the small crack she’s made and pulls the door shut softly behind her. There’s a beat where she thinks she should just turn around and go back inside, or just sit down to collect herself. It’s a brief moment of clarity before her emotions take over again and she takes off at a run. She knows what she's doing is wrong and so out of character, but it doesn't matter at that moment.

Her feet carry her blocks from home, the sun setting around her, straight to Sana's front door. She only has to knock once before it opens and Sana appears. As the door opens she sees Sana's mother standing behind her with her phone to her ear and that's when she breaks, the tears falling freely from her eyes as Sana pulls her into a tight hug and she's ushered into the warm home.

"I'll bring her home." She hears Sana's mother say as she buries her face into Sana's neck.

"It's okay." Sana says softly, but there's a tremble to her voice as well.

When Sana and her mother drop her back off at home shortly after, she hesitates to get out of the car. She knows she’s in trouble, but Mina’s never misbehaved before. The worst punishment she can think of happening is already happening and anything worse is unimaginable to the preteen. Sana holds her hand until she slips out of the car, her focus on the ground as she walks toward her parents. Her mother thanks Sana’s with a small wave of her hand, moving enough to allow Mina through the doorway.

She contemplates running off to her room, even briefly entertaining the idea of chasing Sana’s car down, but she knows it’s silly. She knows that she made a mistake but she still thinks it’s unfair.

“Sit down.” Her father says sternly and she slinks into the living room, sitting down on the couch. Her brother is nowhere to be found, she assumes he’s avoiding the situation entirely. He’s already in high school and was never sent to any prestigious school like her parents were sending her to. She learns what bitterness feels like in that moment.

“Why would you do something so careless, Mina?” Her mother questions as both her parents step into the room. They stand across from her, their arms crossed. It’s exactly what Mina expected when she worried on the drive back home. She only shrugs her shoulders in response. “Don’t shrug; you’re old enough to explain yourself.”

“I don’t want to go to a different school.” She mumbles. “You didn’t ask me what I wanted.”

“You’re 11 years old. We know you don’t want to change schools, but as your parents we know what’s best for you.” Her father responds and she just stares blankly ahead, not truly focused on anything. She wants to lash out, to tell them they don’t know anything about her, but she holds it back.

“Mina.” Her mother leans down and places her hands on Mina’s knees, leveling her gaze. “I know you don’t want to go to a different school than Sana, but this is a healthy part of growing up. You need to branch out and connect with other people and Sana will still be your friend outside of school.”

“I won’t make other friends. No one likes me but Sana.” The words she’s said only to herself spill out. “I’ll hate it there.”

“You’re a lovely, kind girl. People will like you.” Mina just shakes her head in response. “I will drop you off at school and pick you up afterwards for the remainder of the year.” The punishment her parents have chosen is one that is unforgiveable for Mina. To not only take her away from Sana in the future, but also steal some of the last times she’ll have with her now is earth shattering. Mina looks up this time, her face flushing red, and her jaw tightening. Her parents both look slightly taken aback, her mother standing upright again.

“I hate you.” The words slip from her lips and no matter how much she wants to take it back, the damage is already done.

“Mina!” Her mother exclaims in shock. Mina’s always been so perfectly behaved and she knows she’s ruined that now. She doesn’t ask to be excused; she just stands up from the couch and walks out of the living room and up the stairs to her bedroom. She closes the door with a slam, the walls rattling around her as she lays down on her bed and cries.

Sana is waiting for her outside of school the next morning as her mother drops her off. It takes everything in her not to cry at the sight of her best friend, the fears all rushing back to her again. Not having Sana at her side is the most terrifying thought to Mina and she knows that she doesn’t have much time until it becomes a reality.

“Don’t worry.” Sana says as she slips her hand into Mina’s. It grounds her somewhat, making the racing of her heart settle into rhythm again. She can see other people watching them, probably also thrown off by them not arriving together as they always have.

“It’s not fair.” Mina whispers as they begin to walk to class. Sana just squeezes her hand.

“No, but it could be worse.” Sana’s reply makes her pout only grow. She wants Sana to be just as angry as she is, but Sana isn’t that type of person. Mina isn’t sure Sana’s ever really been angry, at least not that she’s ever seen.

“How?” Mina questions back and Sana stops, turning to look at her.

“We could never see each other again. That’s worse.” Sana says and Mina realizes in that moment that she’s right. There are far worse things than just going to another school.

“That won’t ever happen, right?” She asks back, as other kids file past them into the classroom.

“Never.” Sana replies with certainty, but Mina still feels worried. Sana drops her hand and puts up her pinky finger between them. “Pinky promise.” Mina knows how seriously Sana takes a promise, especially one like this. She reaches up and links her finger with Sana’s and gets a smile in return as Sana leads them into class just as the bell chimes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos. I really appreciate it. I hope you all will continue to enjoy this and I'm definitely paying attention to your thoughts/opinions/wishes for this story ^^

The adjustment from elementary school to middle school wasn't easy. The fight that Mina had in her on that winter night had fizzled out by the time spring came around and she'd resigned herself to her fate. Her mother had stuck to her word, dropping Mina off at school and picking her up every single day until the end of the school year.

Mina would’ve gladly continued her punishment if it meant the school year didn’t end and she didn’t have to face middle school on her own. Sana had been more than positive about the whole thing. They still did their back to school shopping together, talked over their schedules to fit as much time in as possible, and they made a plan to meet up after school to still walk home together. It wasn't ideal, Sana would have a longer walk to their afterschool meeting place and Mina wouldn’t see her at all before school, but it was the hand Mina had been dealt and she had to come to terms with it sooner or later.

Despite her parents' assurance that she'd be okay, that she'd make new friends and come out of her shell, Mina didn't entirely excel in her first year of middle school. She was a wonderful student who adjusted fine to her class work but her lack of interest in socialization continued to hold her back. She ate lunch alone and even when other kids tried to befriend her; she didn't interact much with her peers outside of what was required of her. She went through her days with one goal in mind: to make it to the end of the day so she could see Sana again.

Mina's new school focused on teaching English and the majority of her day was spent interacting with people in this new way. For someone who absolutely despised the social aspect of school – it was the hardest part of Mina’s adjustment to the new school. Her parents thought it would afford her a great opportunity in the future, but it was a lot of pressure and some days she'd feel completely overwhelmed. Somehow, even on those days, she'd find a way to smile the moment that Sana appeared in her line of sight.

She’s sitting on one of the swings today, a torn open bag of jellies in one of her hands as she drags her feet along the ground. When she spots Mina approaching she hops up, a warm smile spreading across her face. Mina couldn't help but up her pace, already feeling happier, her face beginning to mirror Sana's. As she gets closer Sana fishes a small packet from her pocket, tossing it in Mina's direction. She catches it easily, grinning at her best friend when she notices what it is.

"Thank you." She says softly as Sana grabs her bag from the ground. She rips into the corner of the bag, pouring the artificially fruit flavored candies in her palm before bringing them to her mouth. They're her favorite, they always have been, and Sana knows this well. She just smiles in return as she slips her hand into Mina's, swinging their arms as they begin their walk home.

"What did you learn today?" The older girl questions as Mina chooses to pour the candies directly into her mouth rather than give up on holding Sana's hand. She takes time to gather her thoughts as she chews.

"Today I learned how to use what they call articles in English." She begins to explain and Sana seems to settle into the conversation, humming in response to show her attention as Mina begins to explain the intricacies of the language Sana hasn't studied much of herself. They’d had English as part of their coursework in elementary school but it was nowhere near the level that Mina was studying now.

Mina is sure that Sana doesn't actually care all that much, but she always asks Mina about her day and always listens intently at whatever Mina feels like sharing and at the end of their walk she asks Mina to teach her a new word in English. She isn't sure that Sana always remembers the words she shares, but she always keeps a mental checklist of the words she wants to share so she's always prepared. Most of them are just to amuse Sana more than to educate her.

When they stop outside of Mina's front door Sana drops her hand for the first time, turning to her. Mina always feels colder when this happens, even in the hot summer she always misses the warmth of Sana’s hand in hers. She’s not quite sure what to make of that, but that’s simply the way it’s always been. Nothing feels quite right when Sana isn’t around.

"Teach me a word." She says, as she does every day. Mina pretends to think, putting her finger to her chin.

" _Adorable_." She says and Sana repeats it back to her. Then she explains the meaning of the word, which makes Sana grin widely. " _Sana_ _is_ _adorable_." Sana pushes her shoulder lightly, laughing as Mina grins a gummy, yet devilish smile. She always enjoys getting a rise out of Sana as she has a hard time taking what she usually dishes out. It’s one of the few times Mina gets the upper hand in making Sana blush. Still, Sana wins most of the time.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Mitan." Sana wraps her in a tight hug, still giggling. All the negativity of Mina's day has been washed away, long forgotten and replaced by Sana's infectious happiness. Sana waits to watch Mina head inside, as she always does, and Mina gives her usual tiny wave before she closes the front door.

Their routine hardly changed as they made their way through middle school. Sana would always wait for Mina at their favorite spot after school and Mina would teach Sana a new word. Around a year in, Sana surprised Mina by asking her what she did that day in English instead of their native tongue. It took Mina a solid minute into her recap of the day for her to realize, sending Sana into a fit of giggles, her cheeks flushing pink. It was then that Mina realized that Sana wasn't just asking for conversation or feigning interest, but that she actually listened to what Mina was saying. Her tiny vocabulary lessons weren't just for fun or routine, but were Sana's way of connecting like they always had. Something they could share together.

Mina's days spent speaking mostly English meant her Japanese fell behind. The expanding of Sana's vocabulary as she followed traditional education meant that she'd have to spend extra time explaining certain things to the younger girl. Sometimes it would frustrate her at home as well, but Sana made everything easier. She never gave Mina trouble for not knowing things, she'd just patiently explain until Mina had it down. Just as Mina shared English with her.

After a while their cute English lessons turned into teaching each other slang words, ones that Mina was missing out on from her English education and ones that Sana would have never heard in her normal socialization in Japanese. Mina supposed with this change that they were beginning to grow up and she wasn’t entirely sure she was ready to give up what they had for the unknown of their upcoming teenage years.

As time passed it wasn't always easy to keep up with each other. Sometimes school became too overwhelming for the both of them and they'd miss their usual weekend sleepovers or shopping trips. Still, they always had their afternoon walk home to look forward to. It was their small window of alone time to catch up, especially at the start of the week when they'd not seen each other for a few days.

It was the spring before 9th grade; both girls had grown considerably since their routine had begun years before. Mina had finally hit a growth spurt and was nearly the same height as Sana now. She was even somehow managing to branch out and had a few friends at school, but nothing really ever compared to the bond she had with Sana. At times she felt guilty for that – for making friends that had no idea who Sana really was. Mina had mentioned her once or twice in passing, feeling self conscious at how drawn she was to talking about the other girl. So she kept things separate. Friends at school were for school and Sana was hers outside of school.

"So I finally convinced my mom to let me sign up for dance classes." Sana says as they walk home one afternoon. It's not the first time Mina's heard about these classes that Sana's been eager to get into. She's been asking her parents for almost a year, but they've questioned the investment with Sana never being one to really settle on an interest. Mina's always found it impressive that Sana's interested in so many things. Mina can barely think about anything except studying anymore. It seems to Mina that with high school starting soon her parents are letting her test the water with her extracurriculars.

"That's great!" Mina replies, pouring the bag of candy into her mouth, par her routine. Sana squeezes her hand slightly.

"Yeah it's on Tuesdays and Thursdays after school." She says and Mina just nods her head as she chews on the candy. After a second she stops walking, causing Sana to be pulled back by their still joined hands.

"So what does that mean about us?" She asks and Sana looks away sheepishly. Mina lets go of Sana's hand, putting it into the pocket of her jacket, shivering slightly. It's not that cold of a day, but it feels like it's cutting right through her.

"I'll still see you the other days." Sana tries her best to sound positive, but there's a tremble in her voice that shows her own worries. It only makes the ball in the pit of Mina's stomach feel larger.

"But not those days." She says back and Sana just sighs, giving a small shake of her head. Mina's old enough to know that she shouldn't feel as hurt as she does or as angry as she does - or as _anxious_ as she does. "OK." She says shortly, swallowing down the anxiety building inside of her. She starts to walk forward, following the usual path home. One she'll be following alone soon. The thought makes her feel sick to her stomach. It shouldn’t, but it does.

She can hear the uneven sound of Sana's shoes on the pavement behind her as she catches up, falling into step beside her. The tension between them has never felt so thick and Mina finds herself upset for feeling how she does. It’s not fair to Sana and she knows that – but her emotions feel completely out of her own control. She hasn’t felt this way in a long time.

"I'm sorry." She says softly and Mina exhales through her nose. "It's the only time I can do it and I really want to try it, you know."

"I know." Mina says back softly. She feels Sana's hand wrap around her arm as they stop walking and she's forced to look at her best friend.

"It's okay if you're upset but _please_ don't be mad at me." There's something close to tears in her eyes as she looks pleadingly at Mina. It makes her chest hurt. Sana has always been sensitive, taking every small negativity personally.

"I'm not mad at you, Satang." Mina sighs. "I can never be mad at you, you know that." She watches the relief cross Sana's face, the corners of her mouth rising slightly from her frown. "I'm just a little sad that I won't get to see you. We don't hang out much anymore."

"I'm sorry. I'll do better." Mina just shakes her head. "You're still my best friend. Forever."

"Promise?" Mina questions back and Sana tugs Mina's hand from her pocket. She forces Mina's pinky finger to link with her own.

"Pinky promise." Mina believes the certainty in the other girl's voice. She wishes she felt as certain as Sana sounds.

"Ok." Mina nods and allows Sana to leave their fingers intertwined as they resume their walk, Sana bouncing happily at her side once again, swinging their hands between them.


	3. Chapter 3

Mina was a bit thankful that her transition to high school wasn’t as hard as the transition to middle school. The most she had to worry about were new teachers and a new building to navigate, but all of it was still on the same campus she was now fairly used to. All of her middle school friends followed into her high school classes and she didn’t really have to worry about learning how to interact with many new students. It was the first time she’d really felt confident on the first day of a new school year, though she couldn’t completely shake off the underlying anxiety that seemingly always laid dormant in her chest as she walked into her first class of the day.

Sana didn’t fare quite as well as Mina did in her transition to high school. Normally her happy personality and outgoing nature allowed her to make friends with just about anyone, but when the two friends met up after their first day of school Sana looked absolutely defeated. Mina found her in her usual spot, swinging back and forth, her feet dragging against the sandy ground underneath her. When she looked up at Mina, instead of the pearly smile she was used to, she found tears welling up in the older girl’s eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Mina barely managed to get the question out before Sana hopped up from the swing and wrapped her in a tight hug, burying her face in Mina’s neck. The reversal of their normal roles in their friendship caught her off guard, causing her to drop her bag at her feet, instinctively mirroring Sana’s hug.

“Today was awful.” Sana whines and the tickle of her breath against Mina’s neck makes her shiver. She hopes Sana doesn’t notice. “I hate high school.”

“Why do you hate it?” Mina asks back, letting go of the hug, but Sana only continues to hold onto her. “You were looking forward to it last night.” She continues as Sana finally seems to sense her awkward stance and pulls back, rubbing her tears away with her arm.

“It’s really hard.” She continues to whine, walking to the swings to pick up her own bag now. As she does this, Mina too reaches down to shake the dirt from the bottom of the new leather bag her mother had gifted her for graduating from middle school to high school.

She hadn’t made the request for it, knowing that her parents already spent an unfathomable amount of money on her tuition to the school alone. Still, every time she’d pass the shop she’d taken an extra second to stop and admire it wistfully. She was sure that her mother had noticed her longing for it, but she never imagined she would actually have it for herself. It's not too large of a bag, but one that's big enough for everything Mina needs for her classes. The outside of it is a plain charcoal leather, but the inside is lined with a silky pink fabric. Mina still can't believe it actually hers.

“It’s only the first day, you’ll get used to it!” She does her best to act as Sana would for her, trying to brighten the mood or lessen her worry as she checks the bottom of the bag for any damage. She's thankful that with the sand dusted off, it still looks pristine. When she looks up, Sana just pokes out her bottom lip in a pout and slides her arm into Mina’s, locking them together as they begin their usual walk home.

“Do you think I’m stupid?” Sana questions after a beat of silence, leaning her head on Mina’s shoulder as they walk out of the park. It takes Mina by surprise that Sana would ever think such a thing about herself. To Mina, Sana was the smartest person she knew. She was always great in school and even outside of school she picked up on things that Mina never really understood or noticed. She knew Sana didn't exactly care for academics, but she never really struggled. She was just naturally good at just about everything and where she lacked, she worked extra hard to make up for it. Mina admired her for that.

“You’re the smartest person I know.” She replies earnestly. “Did someone say you were stupid?”

“No one else seemed to be having any problems but I was so lost today. It's nothing like middle school was.” Sana sighs, lifting her head and sliding her hand down to Mina’s, lacing their fingers together. “Maybe some of the boys in my class were being jerks too.” She adds sheepishly.

“Boys are always jerks.” Mina replies. From her own experience, she found herself gravitating toward girls as friends. She didn’t really interact with many boys at all, especially since her brother went away to University. “Don’t listen to them, Satang. Tomorrow will be a lot better. Plus, you start your dance class, right?"

"You're right." Sana sounds a little happier now that Mina brought up her dance class. It's been all that Sana's talked about for the last month. Though Mina's not entirely thrilled that she won't see Sana for two days of the week, she's warmed up slightly to the idea because it makes Sana so happy. Mina's learned over the years that she's known Sana that as long as Sana is happy, she is also happy. She doesn't know if it's the bond of their friendship or just her growing more empathetic, but she cares quite deeply about Sana's happiness. So much that she's willing to put aside her own selfish desires in order to ensure it.

Their walk today is quiet, but it's not much different than many of the days they've spent on this path. Some days Sana has a million things to say and some days they just enjoy each other's company, leisurely strolling along at their own pace. Mina sometimes wonders what life will be like when they no longer are in school, when they no longer have this routine that she's become so accustomed to. Today that thought only manages to make her stomach hurt, so she pushes it aside the best she can and tries to focus on Sana and the adjustment the rest of the week will bring.

When they reach Mina's front door and Mina turns to her, Sana gives her an expectant look. Mina furrows her brow, tilting her head slightly in question. Sana just lets out an amused huff, shaking her head slightly.

"Teach me a word." She says and it clicks immediately, causing Mina to flush pink from her embarrassment at forgetting their arrangement. She takes a moment to think, for the first time actually trying her best to come up with something to teach Sana that she hasn't before. Everything she can think of is a word already borrowed from English. Sana seems to wait patiently, watching as Mina flips through the dictionary in her mind for something.

She's almost ready to give up and look up something on her phone when a word clicks. It's something she'd read in a book for one of her literature classes back in middle school that stuck with her so much that she'd written a single word in the margins. She'd forgotten about it, had tucked it away in her mind for a day just like this one. She gives Sana a small smile and watches her perk up in excitement.

"Brilliant." It's the exact word she'd wanted to use earlier when Sana had questioned if she was smart. To Mina, Sana is brilliant. Not just because of her intelligence, but because every time she's in Sana's presence she finds her to be dazzling. Brilliant is the perfect way to describe her. Sana furrows her brow, waiting for an understanding of the word but Mina struggles to explain the nuance of the term in Japanese.

When she finally seems to get the point across, the smile she's missed seeing from Sana today returns to her lips, spreading from ear to ear. Mina's quite sure she can see the tears brimming her eyes right before she pulls Mina into a tight hug. It still catches her off guard, but she adjusts a lot faster this time, hugging Sana back equally as tight. They stand this way for a few moments and Mina finds herself growing lost in the warmth that's enveloping her. A part of her doesn't want Sana to pull away at all. She's not sure what to do with that thought, so she shoves it aside as well, something she might pull out again one day in the future.

"Thank you." It's a soft whisper against her ear and she's not even sure if she heard her correctly. One final squeeze later Sana pulls away, taking a full step away. "I'll see you on Wednesday?" She asks and Mina just nods, still not happy about the new arrangement.

"See you Wednesday." She replies, giving Sana the most genuine smile she can muster with a small wave of her hand. She watches as Sana returns the wave, walking back down to the sidewalk to make her own way home. Mina doesn't go inside first this time, but instead watches until Sana disappears out of sight, the older girl turning around a few times to give her another wave as she walks away, the cool breeze blowing her hair against her face.

Though reluctant to go inside, Mina doesn't like the way the cold of the wind cuts through her tonight.

-

When Sana had originally told Mina she was going to be doing two days a week of the dance class after school she didn't realize that she too would be forced to take on extracurricular activities of her own. High school meant she was required to spend at least 2 hours a week after school in a club of her choosing. She scours the list of clubs that begin meeting on the days that Sana won't be around and settles on a literature club and the yearbook club. They seem like they'd look good on her college applications and her homeroom teacher sponsors the yearbook club so she feels a little more comfortable.

Her parents are absolutely thrilled when Mina brings up the clubs she's chosen. They talk about it over dinner and despite her lack of real interest, she forces herself to seem slightly excited at the idea. Mina has learned how to navigate the expectations on her as she's gotten older. So much that she's settled on the tried and true method of faking it until she makes it. She's never been a fan of lying or being deceitful, but she's also quite tired of the constant disappointment on her parents faces when she refuses to step outside of her comfort zone or fall in line like other kids her age. She's grown to fear being a daughter her parents are ashamed of.

The first meeting of her literature club isn't all that bad. They discuss books they've been reading and genres they're interested in. Some of the more talkative members take initiative to lead the group and they vote on a list of books they want to tackle for discussions. Mina doesn't have to talk a lot and many of the other students are on the quieter side, so she finds herself feeling more welcome than she expected. When the club meeting is over, she finds that the sun is starting to move lower in the sky and the cool spring air is chillier than she's used to.

Her walk home feels strange. She doesn't feel uncomfortable or unsafe walking alone, but she's become so used to Sana being by her side that she feels almost as though she's missing a part of herself. Mina's never been one to complain about being alone, spending a lot of her time sans Sana by herself, but today she truly feels lonely. That feeling leaves her lost in her own thoughts as she navigates home on autopilot, her brain instead deciding to focus on any negative thought she can. Mostly the thought of the time when this will be all she has, when Sana inevitably is missing from her everyday life. When they grow even older and are forced into separate lives. When she might only see the other girl on weekends or holidays, when they may live far apart or be too busy with their lives and jobs to spend time. She's so consumed by these thoughts that she walks nearly a block past her house before she realizes her mistake. She backtracks, kicking her feet against the sidewalk, her mood now turned sour from indulging the negative thoughts.

Mina doesn’t hear from Sana that night. It’s not that she expects it, but she does wonder if Sana will call to talk about her class. She doesn’t expect it to sting so much to go to bed without any contact, but she does her best to push away the overwhelming thoughts. It doesn’t work so well and she finds herself laying awake, flipping through the book for her literature club until her eyes grow heavy.

Mina drags herself through her third day of school, knowing that after school she’ll be able to see Sana again and things will feel normal again. Even if it’ll only repeat again tomorrow, Mina hopes that their time together this evening will help ground her anxiety. She doesn’t know why she has so many negative thoughts these days, but she hopes that once her routine settles she’ll become more relaxed. After all, she’d been through a much harder change than a few walks home on her own. Surely this would become easier.

She finds herself walking faster than her normal pace to meet Sana at the end of the day. If she didn't feel absolutely ridiculous running, she might've even done that. Still, she made it through the most congested part of the city in record time. The park wasn't that far from her school, but Sana still seemed to make it there before her every single time. Today was no different.

As she approaches the park she can feel the butterflies in her stomach from her excitement. Sana is sitting on the swings as she always does, but something else catches Mina's eye this time. On the swing next to Sana there's someone else swinging idly. She can hear Sana's voice even from this distance but the other girl doesn't seem to say much. She has her entire focus on Sana, a small smile on her face, her black bangs nearly covering her eyes. Mina stops walking, watching the scene in front of her. It's almost like an out of body experience, the way this girl mirrors Mina's usual gaze. It makes her stomach knot.

Mina could, in that moment, be mature about the situation. She could be level headed and reasonable, and step outside her comfort zone to give the situation a try. She _should_ do that, but Mina's already spent her week doing those things and today wasn't supposed to end this way. It was supposed to be her and Sana on their usual afternoon routine. Now there was someone else intruding on that and even if it wasn't that girl's fault, Mina wasn't happy.

The tears pricking at her eyes make her feel silly and since neither girl seemed to have noticed her presence yet, she hikes her bag up on her shoulder and at the same pace she kept on her way to the park, she takes off toward home. As she walks she can feel the tears slipping from her eyes, racing back from the corners until they slip down her neck, soaking into the collar of her shirt. She'd feel silly about crying in public, but the neighborhood streets are mostly empty except for a few cars that pass by, approaching from behind her. When she's close to home she slows down and allows herself time to brush the wetness from her eyes, pulling herself together so that no one will question why she's upset. She doesn't know how to even explain herself.

She's thankful when she pushes the door open that no one is standing nearby. She can hear her mother shuffling around in the kitchen and hurries to the stairs.

"Mina?" Her mother's voice rings out when she gets a couple stairs up. She freezes.

"Yeah it's me." She replies and she can hear the footsteps approaching from the hall. "I'm going to my room to do my homework."

"Okay. Dinner will be ready soon." Mina's shoulders drop in relief and she takes another step closer to her room.

"Okay." She takes the last two stairs in one stride, slipping into her bedroom and closing the door tightly. She drops her bag on the desk by her door and leans back, letting out a breath as she closes her eyes tightly.

She doesn't know how she really feels. She's not sure if she's angry at Sana, angry at herself, angry at this other girl she doesn't know, or just hurt in general. She can never find it in herself to think logically in these moments; instead she's always completely driven by her emotions. She hates it, how much the smallest things affect her.

She sighs, reaching to unzip her bag and pull out her workbooks, setting them on her desk. She does actually have quite a lot of homework, and she has a long day tomorrow with her yearbook club meeting after school. She hopes that focusing on her homework might distract her from thinking too hard about the repercussions of her choice in walking away.

"Mina!" Her mother's voice rings out from downstairs a half hour later and it pulls her out of her reading. She hadn't realized that she'd been working for so long, as she was actually enjoying her literature reading for the week. She puts a bookmark on the page and pushes herself away from the desk to stand up.

"Coming!" She replies as she opens the door and there's a small jump to her step as she heads downstairs. Somehow she actually has managed to put the afternoon aside in her thoughts, until she hits the bottom stair and looks up to see Sana standing in the entryway.

"Would you like to stay for dinner?" Her mother asks Sana, who politely declines as she looks up to meet Mina's eyes. There's worry in them and Mina's heart breaks for the first time because she knows she's the cause of it. There's nothing more she wants to do in the moment than run away and not face what she did. At this point her mother walks away, seemingly oblivious to the tension, leaving them alone in silence.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure how far this will go, its dependent entirely on the responses it gets. So if you want more of it, please let me know. It will really motivate me to continue. Thank you for reading!
> 
> You can find me on Twitter @sweetlymyoi


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